​196 Allen St, New York, NY 10002​​​​​



Bar Chord - 9 PM 

2271 Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd, New York, NY 10030

Upcoming Shows


The Darkest Timeline is a myth, a bed time story, a shadow in the corner. The Darkest Timeline doesn't exist. This website doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't exist. Do you hear the doubt in the back of your head? That's the sound of The Darkest Timeline.

Call us if you have an audience that needs to be soothed or stirred. The sooner we embrace the fact that this is the darkest timeline, the sooner we can reclaim our lives.

The Darkest Timeline


​12227 Wilkins Ave, Rockville, MD 20852


317 E Houston St, New York, NY 10002​


“Hot… Hot, hot, hot.”

Goatee image is not the property of The Darkest Timeline Band, but was taken from the Community Wikia page.

300 W 116th St, New York, New York 10026


Official Website

1008 Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn, NY 11218

“You’re the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I’m the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You’re Jim Belushi.”