The Darkest Timeline is a myth, a bed time story, a shadow in the corner. The Darkest Timeline doesn't exist. This website doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't exist. Do you hear the doubt in the back of your head? That's the sound of The Darkest Timeline.

Call us if you have an audience that needs to be soothed or stirred. The sooner we embrace the fact that this is the darkest timeline, the sooner we can reclaim our lives.

“Hot… Hot, hot, hot.”

100 N East St, Frederick, MD 21701

Gypsy Sally's Vinyl Lounge - 7 PM

Frederick Coffee Company - 8 PM





Upcoming Shows


1240 9th St NW, Washington, DC 20001

911 Ellsworth Dr, Silver Spring, MD 20910


“You’re the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I’m the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You’re Jim Belushi.”

Shrine World Music Venue - 7 PM


The Velvet Lounge - 9 PM

1401 Aliceanna St, Baltimore, MD 21231



2271 Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd, New York, NY 10030


McGinty's Public House - 8 PM

The Darkest Timeline

Lost & Found - 6 PM

915 U St NW, Washington, DC 20001

Featured Artist @ Teavolve Open Mic - 7 PM

Goatee image is not the property of The Darkest Timeline Band, but was taken from the Community Wikia page.

Quench - 7:30 PM

3401 Water St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Official Website

9712 Traville Gateway Dr, Rockville, MD 20850