“Hot… Hot, hot, hot.”

Goatee image is not the property of The Darkest Timeline Band, but was taken from the Community Wikia page.

911 Ellsworth Dr, Silver Spring, MD 20910

Silver Spring Farmers Market - 12 PM

McGinty's Public House - 8 PM






The Darkest Timeline is a myth, a bed time story, a shadow in the corner. The Darkest Timeline doesn't exist. This website doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't exist. Do you hear the doubt in the back of your head? That's the sound of The Darkest Timeline.

Call us if you have an audience that needs to be soothed or stirred. The sooner we embrace the fact that this is the darkest timeline, the sooner we can reclaim our lives.

Official Website

The Darkest Timeline


1240 9th St NW, Washington, DC 20001

1101 Kenyon St NW, Washington, DC 20010

Wonderland Ballroom - 9 PM

4921 Bethesda Ave, Bethesda, MD 20814

Suma Restaurant & Bar - 8 PM

Upcoming Shows

3401 Water St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Gypsy Sally's Vinyl Lounge - 7 PM


Lost & Found - 6 PM



3311 Rhode Island Ave, Mount Rainier, MD 20712


Urban Eats Arts & Music Cafe - 6 PM

“You’re the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I’m the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You’re Jim Belushi.”

9712 Traville Gateway Dr, Rockville, MD 20850

Quench - 8 PM

911 Ellsworth Dr, Silver Spring, MD 20910