7611 Piney Branch Road, Takoma Park, MD


Upcoming Shows

The Darkest Timeline is a myth, a bed time story, a shadow in the corner. The Darkest Timeline doesn't exist. This website doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't exist. Do you hear the doubt in the back of your head? That's the sound of The Darkest Timeline.

Call us if you have an audience that needs to be soothed or stirred. The sooner we embrace the fact that this is the darkest timeline, the sooner we can reclaim our lives.


​7 Locks Brewing - 7:30 PM



“Hot… Hot, hot, hot.”

Goatee image is not the property of The Darkest Timeline Band, but was taken from the Community Wikia page.


​Takoma Park Folk Fest - Grove Stage - 12 PM

The Sidebar - 8 PM


​218 E Lexington St, Baltimore, MD 21202


“You’re the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I’m the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You’re Jim Belushi.”

​12227 Wilkins Ave, Rockville, MD 20852

Official Website

The Darkest Timeline