The Darkest Timeline is a myth, a bed time story, a shadow in the corner. The Darkest Timeline doesn't exist. This website doesn't exist. Perhaps you don't exist. Do you hear the doubt in the back of your head? That's the sound of The Darkest Timeline.

Call us if you have an audience that needs to be soothed or stirred. The sooner we embrace the fact that this is the darkest timeline, the sooner we can reclaim our lives.

​12227 Wilkins Ave, Rockville, MD 20852

Silvana NYC - 7 PM  



Upcoming Shows


​300 W 116th St, New York, NY 10026​​​​


“You’re the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I’m the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You’re Jim Belushi.”


​8642 Colesville Rd, Silver Spring, MD 20910

​The Record Exchange - 6 PM

8642 Colesville Rd, Silver Spring, MD

​The Record Exchange - 3 PM

Official Website

The Darkest Timeline

​2271 Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd, New York, NY 10030

Shrine World Music Venue NYC - 6 PM



​7 Locks Brewing - 7:30 PM


“Hot… Hot, hot, hot.”

Goatee image is not the property of The Darkest Timeline Band, but was taken from the Community Wikia page.